Liz and I were born and raised in Southern California and fate brought us together in 1994 at Sonora High School. We quickly bonded while doing plays together in drama class. Over the past 20 years we’ve fallen in and out of touch. Recently though our passion for birth has pulled us close together. Liz is a labor and delivery nurse and I’m a childbirth educator. We’ve been known to talk about birth until 3:00 am over the phone while drinking wine and laughing a lot.
Just two weeks ago Liz sent me this article she wrote and I was blown away. As someone who was born with a big butt, I’ve never known what it’s like to be skinny and then plus size. I really want to thank her being so candid and writing this piece to share with us. Just be forewarned that Liz has a strong sense of humor, something I’ve always loved about her!
You Might Also Like: 3 Ways to Start Loving Your Body Today
I’m fluffy and so what… I have a superpower my extra weight provides me… I float! That’s right, I float like a cork. When others require a life jacket, I don’t! Now, I wear one anyway when safety dictates that I should, but in an emergency I could easily forgo one for someone who isn’t endowed with my super power.
I’m fluffy not because I’m lazy although, exercise is not my favorite activity. I’m fluffy because I have a disease. A disease I got because I wanted to be a mother. Yep, having a baby made me a fatty. I have an acquired thyroid disease that I got as a direct result of delivering a baby. True story! Being overweight doesn’t make me lazy or ignorant, I’m still as active as I have ever been and I unabashedly do all the same things I did when I was skinny (except, now I don’t wear a bikini, I don’t do that because I have wrinkly, BIG [like wider than my thumb] stretch mark scars from being pregnant. I don’t wear a bikini because, I believe strongly that setting a modest example for my Son is very important. We also live in a costal community in Southern California that doesn’t really appreciate any form of modesty, so I feel the need to set an example of propriety for my son. The studies all show that he will marry a woman just like me… so there you go! I’m trying to raise a Good-Man to love a fluffy woman who is modest and brazen at the same time… Oh and whom is good with power tools as well, but that’s a different blog post entirely!)
I was once a model, actress, and dancer. I once starved myself to be 120lbs at 5’ 8.5” tall. Jen can attest to this on my behalf, she knew me well way back when. I was skinny… too skinny in fact, to be healthy. Now, I proclaim to be a foodie, I don’t over eat, I just enjoy eating wonderful and varied foods. I am in perfect health, despite being 50 lbs over weight, I have low blood pressure, my AH1C is 5.4. I’m not ill or unhealthy, I’m just “moderately overweight” according to my doctor.
I’m also an L&D Nurse and I work the night shift. You try being skinny working nights. Then add the night shift to Thyroid disease; it’s a Molotov cocktail of uncontrollable weight gain!
However, there’s benefit to my added fluff… I have HUGE boobs! Yes, they are a real 32H! And, like I said before, they are amazingly buoyant!
I have been a skinny girl, and now I am a fat girl and I like my added fluff more than I liked being skinny. My added weight is freeing. It allows me to be funny and inappropriate, because lets face it, the fat girl is always funny right? I was equally as funny being skinny but there is a BIG social stigma being funny and brazen when you are skinny. Many people just think you are a bitch when you are skinny and funny. I feel more seen and more myself as a heavier woman. Who knew?
Being skinny and now being not-skinny has been an adjustment. I have a wide array of clothing I can’t currently wear, clothing I really like. I do at times long to be skinny again. But then I remember how anxious I was all the time. I remember the diet… er, “Lifestyle choices” I constantly had to think about. I remember constantly comparing myself to every other skinny woman. I remember the shame of growing larger. I remember the looks I got when I was the funniest one in the room. I remember how much time I spent criticizing myself while standing in front of the mirror.
I still criticize myself now from time to time, but over all I’m so much more accepting of my body now, than I ever was when I was thin. I have many thin friends and I no longer envy them. I wear a bathing suit just like they do, but now I’m the one playing in the pool with all the kids. I no longer worry about being judged, because I don’t judge myself. I don’t worry about my thighs rubbing together, because they will. I don’t care about my cellulite, because guess what, WE ALL HAVE IT! I watch all my skinny friends who sit on the sidelines because they are just like I used to be… worried about looking good and going nowhere fast.
My new motto is, I worked hard for my big butt and giant boobs, now I have to maintain them!!! Yes, that’s a joke to deflect ridicule, but its funny as hell! Try it some time, it’s a good line! I’m sorry for you body-obsessed women, if you aren’t going to eat that delicious thing, I will happily revisit it on your behalf. It was DELICIOUS and you are a nutter to avoid it because of your body image issues.
Now, I’m an amazingly buoyant rubenesque gorgeous woman, who loves herself, and lives as large as my big butt allows. I wish everyone who may read this the same kind of body love I have found being exceedingly buoyant.
With all my love,
Subscribe to our informative weekly newsletter, and you'll receive a free resource on how to connect with a size-friendly care provider.