For most of us, our babies were conceived during sex and yet, for some reason, talking about sex is so taboo. Well, taboo or not, this article is all about plus size pregnancy sex!
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Before we start, let’s be clear about something – some people experience a heightened sexual drive during pregnancy while others have no interest in sex.
Whichever end of the spectrum you land on, or if you’re somewhere in between, it’s completely normal. You’re completely normal!
Wanna have sex all the time = normal
Don’t want to have sex but enjoy masturbating = normal
Have NO desire for sex but just want to cuddle = normal
I feel like “normal” isn’t a word that’s used often enough during pregnancy and so we’re left in this “what’s wrong with me?!?” limbo.
Yet, nothing is wrong with you – you're just experiencing normal intense hormonal changes while growing a tiny human. That takes a toll on both your emotions and your changing body. How that impacts one’s sex drive is completely different for every person and every pregnancy you experience.
Now that we’re on the same page, let’s talk (without shame or embarrassment!) about plus size pregnancy sex!
The sexiest thing you can do is to have an open line of communication with your partner at all times!
I think when it comes to intimacy and sex, being able to be open and honest with your significant other is key. Being able to express what I want or need and how I feel has brought an amazing new level to our relationship. For instance, I was having a bad body image night and was feeling super unattractive. I told my hubby, so he made a huge effort to make me feel comfortable and express his attraction towards me. He said ‘I will kiss every inch of you if that's what it takes to show you how sexy you are.’ I replied ‘Well that's a lot of inches…’ and he said ‘And I love every single one.’ That night ended VERY well…
Still, opening that line of communication isn’t always easy.
If you’re feeling a bit shy about addressing such an intimate topic, one thing I often do is strike up a conversation while I’m in the shower and my partner is brushing their teeth (or I’ll call them into the bathroom to chat while I’m showering).
I find the shower curtain gives me this little veil to stand behind which allows me to be a little more open if I’m feeling vulnerable.
Or maybe you just need to schedule the time to sit down and talk together.
There’s nothing wrong with that. Little tip: while you have your calendars open, be sure to schedule in some date nights as well because your lives are only going to become more hectic once an infant enters the picture.
Related: 4 Ways To Have Hot Sex After Baby
Do whatever works for you and your unique relationship, but just make sure you prioritize talking to your partner about intimacy: what you want, what you don’t want, how you’re feeling about sex, etc.
Be especially honest and tell your partner if you want things to change or stop at any point during your intimate times together.
Connecting with your partner during pregnancy in a physical manner is important for your relationship. But remember, there’s a lot more to intimacy than just intercourse!
Massage can be really sensual and feel amazing. Light some candles and purchase some luxurious massage oil. It can be incredibly soothing to be held by your partner or simply have them brush your hair.
And there’s always something fun about a good old-fashioned make-out session!
Or maybe you just want to touch yourself, and that can be extra fun during pregnancy as your blood volume has dramatically increased and orgasms can be more intense. So maybe you want to buy a new toy otherwise known as a “personal massager”…wink-wink.
With personal lubrication, you might notice some differences and your partner might also comment that your taste or smell is different. This is due to all your hormone changes and it’s completely normal (yup, there's that word again, normal).
Please be prepared that you’ll have even more changes following childbirth and it’s not uncommon for postpartum women to become a lot drier.
Now’s a great time to start experimenting with different types of lubricant and find what works best for you (water based lubricant is best).
One thing that might help you feel in the mood, as you’re navigating a body that looks and feels different, is lingerie. Babydoll lingerie outfits will last throughout pregnancy and well beyond.
Adding a soft layer of lace or something sheer could boost your confidence and add to the whole experience.
When it comes to intercourse if your partner is male and thinks they might hurt the baby, rest assured that’s not possible. But don’t take my word for it – here’s an expert!
Below you’ll see a list of positions you might want to try for great plus size pregnancy sex. Be sure to have pillows on hand…lots and lots of pillows (and even consider looking into a sex positioning pillow – yup those exist).
- Side lying/spooning.
- On your back with pillows under your hips and lower back so your bottom is hanging off the pillows.
- On your knees and forearms (doggie style) while hugging pillows in front of you.
- Lay on your back near the very edge of the bed and have your partner stand between your legs.
Remember these are just a few suggestions that have worked well for other women but you can use your imagination and try anything that feels good to you.
Following intercourse, it’s not uncommon to experience some mild cramping and discharge.
Sex and orgasms can also bring on contractions but a little hanky-panky isn’t going to bring on labor unless your baby is ready nearing the end of pregnancy.
If you have any concerns, do not hesitate to contact your care provider (believe me – they’ve heard it all!).
I hope this article has helped you to feel a little more encouraged and excited to engage in plus size pregnancy sex! The more you can connect with your partner (on many different levels) before the baby arrives, the better off you’ll be as you enter into this new adventure together!
Want more? Check out Let’s Talk About Sex: Postpartum & Plus Size Sex