Like many cesarean birth moms, Heather has heard people say, “having a c-section is an easy way out.” As you'll read below, Heather's birth experience was anything besides easy. It was traumatic.
There's no type of birth that's easier than others. No birth matters less than another.
Cesarean birth is birth.
Most c-sections are not as scary and painful as Heather's yet her story is a true example of why we need to stop shaming c-section parents!
This is Heather's heartbreaking story that might not be appropriate for someone who is pregnant to read.
“A c-section is the easy way out!”
It's hard to believe people actually say this, or “you have no idea what it’s like to naturally push out a baby.”
After 35 hours of labor with my son Cooper, my OB finally looked at me and said, “things just aren’t progressing.” Following being on the drip for a long time to be induced and after about 24 hours of labor finally giving in…I remember looking at my mom because I was exhausted.
I felt like I failed.
My mom had 3 natural births, what’s wrong with me. Why wasn’t my body working?
Jord, my husband, was sick of pushing on my hips because that was the only thing that felt good during labor.
I was connected to all the monitoring machines so I couldn’t go into some positions without moving the sensors.
I was exhausted and I couldn’t move anymore.
Related: A Mother’s Strength: Plus Size C-Section Birth Story
I kept trying but my contractions weren’t getting where they needed to be. My baby was ledged up in my ribs. It being my first labor I had no idea what that meant.
So I took the epidural.
After four hours my OB came back in to see how I was doing and nothing… this was not normal progress.
So she said, “we can keep trying for another four hours or we can get this baby out safely.”
A c-section was something I had not prepared at all. I had zero ideas about it, I hadn’t asked any questions NOTHING.
I was broken, defeated, exhausted, starving and just spent.
Our precious babe never went into distress, heart rate never dropped, my blood pressure was okay through labor, and we were all healthy! And for that, I am forever thankful to our good lord.
So after deciding a c-section would be our safest solution, they disconnected me and told us to get some sleep.
We will meet this baby soon.
After 36 hours we tried to sleep.
We had all just fallen asleep when of course they had time in the OR, so they bring us in!
IT'S GO TIME!!
Jordan suited up. I changed into a gown as during labor as I was determined to stay in my own clothes. Jordan and I prayed together, my mom prayed with me.
Scared was an understatement……
What is a c-section?
Are they cutting me open? Like literally open to take my baby out?
What if they cut the baby or what if the baby isn’t okay?
What if we missed something?
A million bazillion things running through my mind, looking at Jord like I completely failed EVERYONE.
I was a failure…
Related: You Don’t Get To Decide How Your Birth Will Go: A Transfer Birth Story
When I was finally in the OR, they had me prepped and ready. Just before the OB came in she was called into an emergency c-section. Ours wasn’t considered an emergency because baby and I were both ok, not in distress. So the nurse unstrapped me put on some Luke Bryan and we just hung out.
An hour later the OB came in and it was time.
I had NO idea what it was supposed to feel like but started screaming in the OR because I felt WAY too much.
This was NOT normal…….. the epidural wasn’t doing it.
I felt everything and I was screaming….terrified, my poor husband. He didn’t know what to do, why is she in so much pain…. why, why, why!
I remember looking over at Jordan. The anesthesiologist was behind him and looking over the curtain and the OB with a look that I will never ever forget. He looked scared, he looked nervous!
The OB was calm and collective but they couldn’t get baby out. He was stuck up in my rib cage. So they had to do a t-cut to be able to get my baby out.
The anesthesiologist said as soon as they get baby out I will give you a painkiller. They just have to get him out… so more pain, much more pain as they tried to get him out…
I remember them finally getting him out and the OB saying “HE……. something, something, something “ and Jord was saying “ What is it, what is it” and I said, “The doctor said HE, the doctor said HE”!
Then the midwives brought our son around and said “it’s a BOY”…and then I was pumped with morphine.
Related: Not All Care Providers are Fat Shamers: A Birth Story
The pain I experienced, the screaming, the emotions, the feeling of failure, the hurt, the discipline… everything through this entire process was anything from “the easy way out”!
Waking up in the recovery room catching a VERY brief moment of Jordan and our newborn snuggled under a warm blanket, waking up being ABSOLUTELY starving, not even concerned about the new babe latched onto my boob… it was all such an experience…..
Cooper's birth was traumatic, it was hard, it was disappointing, it was terrifying, it was long, it was awful. But the end result was a beautiful baby boy….and in the end that was all that mattered.
This was our birth story.
Heather's birth story of Cooper isn't how cesarean birth usually goes. You can learn about preparing for a c-section as a plus size woman here. Below is an image of Heather after giving birth via c-section to her baby girl, Cooper's little sister. This time Heather had a healing and positive cesarean birth experience.